Personal Growth

Knowing the difference between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you is the root of all personal growth. Here is a light weight process to make that understanding easier.

Everyone hates performance reviews. Managers hate doing them and employees hate receiving them. It’s not surprising, as most companies treat performance reviews as evaluations and no one enjoys being evaluated. 

Employees want to be seen as people, and people have hopes, dreams and goals. They want to know they are heard and the company wants to help them achieve their personal goals. Performance reviews are the opposite of that, and as such they can hurt (rather than help) your relationships with employees.

There is a different approach, where you focus on the personal growth of each employee instead of evaluation. Here is a simple process you can use that does exactly that:

Step 1. Write it down.

Have each employee, on their own, write down:

• Three things they believe they are great at doing

• Three things they want to improve at doing

At the same time, without knowing what the employee wrote, their manager should write down:

• Three things they believe the employee is great at doing

• Three things they want the employee to improve at doing

It’s very important that it’s exactly 3 and 3. It’s easy for some people to list dozens of strengths and others to list dozens of weaknesses. Forcing someone to choose three of each requires a lot of thought, and that thought is the true gift of this process. 

It’s also important that the lists are not specific achievements or failures, but focus on how the employee works. You should not include a specific project that was completed as a strength, but rather how the employee approached the project which made it a success. It’s hard to learn from a specific task but it’s easy to learn about the way you complete tasks.

At the end, both the employee and the manager will have similar lists but have no idea what the other wrote down. 

Step 2. Meet to discuss

When you meet to discuss, it’s important that the employee goes first as you don’t want to bias their personal feedback. The meeting should proceed as follows:

1. The employee presents the three things they believe they do best

2. The manager presents the three things they believe the employee does best

3. The employee and manager discuss the differences in the two lists

4. The employee presents the three things they want to improve upon

5. The manager presents the three things they want the employee to improve upon

6. The employee and manager discuss the differences in the two lists

The key value comes in the discussion of the differences in the two lists (steps 3 and 6). What the employee presents is their inside perspective and what the manager presents is the outside perspective. Neither is “correct”, but knowing the difference between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you is the root of all personal growth. 

The discussion about these differences can be long, but that’s good! Very few people ever have a chance to confront the differences between their inside and outside perspectives. To some the differences are jarring, and to others they are energizing but overall it’s valuable. It is critical that these differences are presented and discussed in a safe environment, with the focus on the personal growth of the person and not a judgment about them. 

We want your team to grow with you, and this is planting a seed for exactly that.

Step 3. Follow Up

Very few people are great at absorbing personal feedback at the same moment we receive it. Most of us need some time to process, and this process is no exception. The manager should send a written version of their lists to the employee so the employee can read and reflect on it over time. 

The manager and employee should also revisit the areas of improvement in the future, to ensure both sides are working to help the employee achieve their goals. The employee provided a roadmap for what they want in the next steps of their career, so the manager’s job is to help them get there. 

The first time an employee goes through this process, they will be hesitant as they are likely scarred from years of performance reviews. However, after that first time you’ll see the quality and depth of the process shine as the walls come down and real personal growth starts to happen. 

Details, details

This process sounds simple, but it’s amazingly powerful. While employees dread performance reviews, once they understand this process they ask to do it more and more often. It’s a rare chance to be honest and open about work in a way most companies do not allow.

It sounds easy, right? Nothing is ever easy. Assembling the two lists requires a lot of thought, and many employees and managers struggle with it the first time through. However, after doing it once it gets easier and easier and the value of it grows each time. 

I often review the lists the managers create for their teams with them, to ensure they are focusing on how the employee works rather than specific tasks they accomplished. Especially for managers doing this for the first time, having a partner help review keeps the feedback focused and productive. 

If you do annual compensation adjustments, it’s important to separate those from this personal growth process. Employees will not be honest if they believe what they share in this process will affect their compensation, so doing them at different times ensures no confusion. For example, you might do this personal growth process in Q4 and compensation adjustments (raises, promotions) in Q1. 

As I’ve said before, employees are people so let’s treat them that way! This is a great way to connect with the person behind the role, and get to know them better so you can help them on their journey.